Keeping It Real

My goal in life is to find the positive in my daily living.  And Good Lordy there are A LOT of positives in my days!!! But today was one of those days that you just have to say . . . WTF????!!!

I’ve given some information about my current health issues but to give a direct picture . . .I am currently juggling dialysis (at least) three days each week for kidney failure, a cancer that has been with me for over a year now, diabetes that is being thrown completely out of whack with all the other turmoil to my body, and fluid build up around one of my lungs, of which my doctors have no idea why it is there or from where it is coming.  And it’s hard.  Some days harder than others and today was one of those days.

I still managed to find some positive in my day . . . like, did you know today is National Pizza Party Day!!  Awww yeah 🙂 !!!! but I never want this blog to come across as fake.  I know not everyday can be sunshine and roses.  Today happens to be a sunshiny day sprinkled pretty heavily with rose thorns.

I started my day arriving at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. for my dialysis treatment.  I couldn’t get in the parking garage because the chip dispenser was broken and the security guard wasn’t answering the call button. So I sat for 15 minutes until he got back from his coffee break, I suppose, and then I proceeded to park. I got to the dialysis room and that door was locked.  So I knocked.  And I knocked.  And I knocked again. Hellllllloooooooooooo???  And then I sat and waited in the waiting area till I guess the nurses and techs got back from their coffee breaks too. (Or maybe there was a PIZZA PARTY going on somewhere and I missed the memo!)

Entering the dialysis room led me to an argument with my doctor about my fluid gain . . . .surprise!! . . . .and when I finally got settled in the chair, it took not the usual two gignormous needles that are used, but 4!!!  Seriously . . . .I’m pretty tough when it comes to stuff, but 4 of these needles are enough to set anyone off!  And for the entire treatment, the techs had to twist and turn all the needles in my arm to keep them working.

The argument with my doctor was me trying to explain to him that too much fluid was being removed during my treatments and that the amount I was gaining wasn’t really that high if the proper amount was being removed.  If too much fluid is removed, it makes your blood pressure drop pretty quickly and your legs cramp as well.

You guessed it! THAT happened!  But this time my blood pressure dropped so low, I passed out.  Well now that was a fun experience watching all the nurses run around in circles when all they needed to do was give me some saline solution and the situation would eventually correct itself.

So I finally got situated and back on track for my treatment, but at this point, my blood sugar level was also effected by everything going on and that dropped below 40 . . . a normal level is about 100, give or take some digits.  So again, I was very near passing out.  And again, the nurses started running around in circles.  I managed to tell them what to do and eventually I started to feel better but by now, was completely wiped out from all the up and down and running around. So an entire treatment that usually takes a total of about 4.5 or 5 hours, today took well over 6.5 hours.  That’s a long time to hold your shit together, especially with everything that was happening and the lack of knowledge of how to help me.  Not to mention, it was after 12:30 in the afternoon and I hadn’t had anything to eat.  I was pretty much a mix between both the Best of Jerry Springer and Grey’s Anatomy!

I’m not looking for even one little ounce of sympathy, but so many have asked me what dialysis is like and to take them through a “day in the life”.  Fortunately, on either count, this is not a typical day in my life or dialysis.  And I know how very blessed I am to be able to juggle all that I juggle with my health.  I am able to do so much of what I want to do each day and it is such a blessing!  But sometimes days like this come along and they need to be recorded so I can come back next week, reread this post, and laugh it all off!  And I promise you, I WILL  🙂 !

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